Pilgrim Footsteps

Among all my fears and doubts and feeling like I was barely able to keep it all afloat, my workplace shut down along with the rest of the world due to something as small as a virus that became something so much larger.  Hmm. That sounds familiar.  If you've read parts 1 and 2 of my fear trilogy, you know that with this post I'm going to share how a time that caused fear and stress for so many people actually relieved mine.  It may sound crazy and even a little rude, but when the rest of the world was panicking, I was finally at peace for the first time in a while.  I wasn't juggling everything at work and the fears of the past how many months seemed irrelevant and so much smaller as I took walks on cool early spring mornings and began to paint and rediscovered the joy of writing. God magnified the little things and washed away the big things, giving me time to take a deep breath.    He used that time to remind me who I am, and that He created me to be that ...

I already admitted being foolish. While that story may have simply been ridiculous and may have even made you smile, this is just plain embarrassing. It's also not just one story; it was a growing theme that I could sense growing in my life but wasn't quite sure exactly what it was. It began when some plans got canceled and I was very upset. Technically, I could've still followed through with the plans on my own and simply moved forward. But no. Refusing to do something that I had never done before and that, quite frankly, scared me, I simply got angry at the person who had messed up my plans. (When someone else volunteered, still I held a few days' grudge.) It wasn't the first time something had made me extra-angry without a justifiable reason for said anger. Each time was to varying degrees and followed a similar pattern. My fears of small things, revealed by what I couldn't get myself to do, made all of my fears start to pile on top of each other wit...

Let me tell you a story about me being a fearful fool. Once upon a time, I decided it was time for a new laptop. And being the writer that I am, I knew I would need to splurge and also pay to put Microsoft Office on my new laptop. I studied the different kinds of laptops and what would be best for my needs and also not overly expensive. Finally, I took the leap (I am not a fan of buying things that cost more than $30) and went home with a new Lenova laptop and a code for Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. Unfortunately, I forgot how stupid Microsoft is. Did you know that you literally can't even call them for help? You have to use their online helper, which did not even recognize my question as a possible topic. Sigh. Still I pressed on, making a whole new email on yahoo just to create a new Microsoft account so I could put their product on my new laptop. And waited and waited and waited for it to complete. At long last, it said it was finished. It was late and I was...