Refreshing Joy

I realized something that, really, we should all realize a lot earlier than I did (which was just the other weekend): True laughter is not from something being funny, it is from feeling joy.  It seems like a pretty simple concept, but I really think that many people miss the point.  I mean, think of it this way - everyone who goes to a third-world country sees destitute and starving children who laugh and giggle often and wonder why they are laughing.  Because they have joy!  They do not need "funny" or things to make them happy, they have joy!  And yet in America and other world powers have everything they need to make them "happy" and hanging out and joking makes things "funny," but what about true joy?  Happiness and joy are most definitely not the same thing.

True joy makes you laugh.  True joy is a tangible taste on your tongue.  True joy makes you want to dance and sing.  True joy comes from God.  

So, I started right into that, huh?  I'll pause to explain a little.  Each year our youth group goes on a winter retreat in like February or March.  This year it was Feb. 26th-March 1.  We went to the same place we'd been twice before and besides getting stuck going up the driveway and an impromptu early departure due to more snow and a couple of things here and there, it was a very amazing time, as usual.  

First, a little background to make sense of the joy I will mention later on: First, at a late night worship in June 2014, there seemed to be a theme of joy.  Miranda got a verse, Zephaniah 3:14 - "Sing, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel; be glad and rejoice with all the heart, O daughter of Jerusalem."  Later, and I quote from right after when I wrote it down, "I felt such joy as this was happening, and I half laughed a few times - almost like that Spirit laughter I could not stop during the winter retreat.  I also got a verse in my mind about joy - actually, I mainly got the part, 'So your joy may be full.'"  Secondly, at the summer retreat we had in July 2014 (at the same place we had our most recent retreat), I got related things during a time of worship.  I saw a plant growing profusely, like a vine, and flowering everywhere.  I also heard God say, "remember that joy I showed you?  I want to increase it seven-fold."  Anyway, just keep that in mind.  

It was our Saturday night session, which always turns out to be mostly worship, and the best time of worship (at least for me) out of the whole weekend that we're there.  But this time it didn't seem to be the same.  I wasn't going in as deeply as I wanted to into worship, I was just waiting for more.  I did get the following little poem-snippet-thing, though:

Love called my name

Forgiveness made me clean

Grace wiped away my tears

Mercy took me by the hand

Truth led me into everlasting joy

Between the time when Ryan dismissed whoever wanted to go (or we could stay and worship longer) and when we prayed for him (as we do every Saturday on the retreats) and all, I don't remember the order that things happened anymore.  The important thing is that it did.  During a pause in worship, Kyle told Miranda and I that he got a picture of a key at the bottom of a body of water and we had the key, and there were doors that only we could open.  That was pretty awesome.  Then Ryan played "Oceans" and then "Sinking Deep," and when "Sinking Deep" started (we can tell what songs they are within the first few seconds on most songs!) Kyle and I just looked at each other and laughed at how amazing God was - Ryan doesn't just pick songs to play, he plays whatever he feels God is leading him to.  That's part of the beauty of our worship times!  

During the time of those songs, I wrote, "Lord, I don't want to be afraid of the deepest, purest waters that you are drawing me out into, God - give me bone-shaking peace and courage to go where you call me Father.  Let me hear you so clearly that all borders and walls come crashing down, good for nothing more than raising the water level even higher."  

After those two songs were played, Miranda told Kyle and I that she got a vision of stars, as in a galaxy.  Immediately Kyle responded, as thought it is the ultimate and only definition:

"We are going to the deepest of the deep and highest of the high."

We all just sort of looked at each other, for that declaration was like a heart-opener for the night.  The three of us sat down to pray together, and some others joined us but didn't quite get it as we kept going around, saying what God laid on our hearts, and Miranda and I started Holy Spirit laughing and couldn't stop (and at one point one of the kids, an eighth grader, asked, "Am I missing something?  What's so funny?").  Ryan started a spontaneous Bethel song and slowly everyone left until it was just Miranda and I (and Ryan, and then Becca came back later).  The two of us were laughing so hard, worshiping God however we felt led.  At one point I was almost dancing, and we were laying on the ground, and it was the most incredible, indescribable feeling of unstoppable love and peace and most vividly, joy.  This was pure joy, what pure laughter comes from.  There was so much joy we were literally laughing for at least five minutes, and sometimes I had to hold my side a bit because I was getting out of breath.  Psalm 16:11 describes this perfectly: "Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore."  If we stay in the presence of God (after all, we have His Spirit inside of us), we should always be joyful!

Afterwards, I wrote in my journal, "The seven-fold of joy has arrived!!!!  And yet….more is to come, I know it in my heart!"  Ryan also told us afterwards, "God told me this would happen.  It's written down."  

I would like to share some lyrics from that spontaneous worship song, sung by Steffany Gretzinger:  "There's a line and we've crossed it.  Some would say that we've lost it.  Who cares what the world thinks.  We have found our joy!"

I found my joy when I first felt the presence of God in my life; have you found your joy, or are you just laughing at emptiness?

Amen.  


P.S. Fun fact relating to this post....when I got home and was listening to music, I came across this song by All Sons and Daughters: "Called me Higher"